I know that a lot of ladies will nod their head in agreement when people say that many Nigerian men are "boys in trousers" many ladies says this because they think many men never carry out their role in the relationship, it seems really funny to me and my knee-bended thoughts that what responsibilities are the men expected to handle in a relationship and do Nigerian women expect too much from their men?
I do reckon that women have expectations of their men ,which they not only expect him to know about but also to meet, but, more often than not,there seems to be a disconnect between what is supplied and what is demanded and I guess that sometimes, the problem lies in the fact that these expectations are not commensurate with the man's position (financially,mentally)
The other day,my friend was telling me about his flatmate whose relationship was on the brink of break-up because the girlfriend had asked him for money to pay for her blackberry subscription and he had sent her two thousand naira,as a result of which he got an "is that all"? In the place of "thank you", which really upset him because he thought she was being inconsiderate; knowing that as a corps member ,he earns nineteen thousand eight hundred naira monthly. On the other hand, the girl was also upset because she felt the guy did not love her because the guy did not give enough;
Somehow financial issues seems to top the chart of causes of quarrels and probably an eventual break-off of relationships in our neck of the woods.much as I agree that ladies have financial needs that they expect the guys to meet, to my own understanding,it is nt important or neccesary for the guy to meet those financial needs for as long as the dotted lines have not being signed.though it would be wise For him to try and do so to show that he is caring,responsible and capable, more so, for some people, their love language (the way they judge whether or not they are loved ) is in receiving gifts.
So for such ladies,no matter how many times you say "I love you" they do not feel loved until you give them gifts. Speaking of gifts,there are lots of men that are guilty of giving gifts that they will like to receive (instead of gifts that their partner will appreciate),thus defeating the purpose of giving it in the first place because it is just like pouring orange juice into your fuel tank (because you are a sucker for orange juice) and expecting your car to start.
Anyways,apart frome financial aspects the roles of a man includes:
= make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome instead of shying away from making decisions for fear of getting criticized or making mistakes or being seen as controlling
= be a man; be courageous enough to deal with danger,difficulty and pain without backing out ,also, be self disciplined ,honest and self reliant
= listen and understand your woman; don't just hear and make assumptions,listen and try to walk in her shoes so that you can understand her better
= be caring and sensitive: for example,when she says she feels ill;its time to get her something to make her feel better
= protect the relationship; I know that this might sound strange especially here where the belief is that the success of the relationship lies solely on the woman's delicate shoulders.
But the man also has an important role to play which is to protect the relationship from whatever could break it ,take care of it,pray for its success and be a model she can look up to
= be her best friend,lover,father, brother and everything she can ever look for in a man.
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