A good relationship begins with a good choice of partner, so does a good marriage, partner choice determines outcomes, flavours and progressions, just think of the bonding of various chemicals, some are toxic,obnoxious,some volatile,some wonderful. If he's not right for you or you're not right for each other, the relationship will take on issues before commencement, a bad partnership combination filled with hope is an anger fueling bitter memory in the making, and that's how the strange philosophy of "the reality of marriage" comes to being.
This philosophy propounds that the dream of happiness and romantic bliss in marriage is a fantasy of the unrealistic, that the "reality of marriage" is in actuality full of misery,difficulties,fights and unhappiness, those who propounded this theory are often those seeking accommodation with the consequences of wrongheaded choices, we've come to accept this philosophy by default,it's why some people say, it doesn't matter who you marry, just marry!
Marriage is not something to be endured,it was instituted by God, God is not a sadist,he didn't institute misery, we did! There are many loving, tender,kind and wonderful marriages, they are filled with romance because the partners dreamt of tenderness and protected their dreams. If your boyfriend is the abusive type,there will be no loving tenderness and sex cannot make up for it,there are things sex can't cure despite the overly misguided belief in the promise of the remedies of physicality, you won't remember the sex in a depressive and hurtful relationship, all you will be concerned about is the exit door!
We've been talking about choice. And I know the notion of choice has a lot of assumption about it, choice is a picture of two options, for some ladies, is loneliness that makes their choices for them, when there are hardly any prospects, loneliness drives you into desperation and you choose whatever is available, most times,these ladies just want to have a man they can call their own,no matter who he is. But a relationship is a potential marriage and marriage is a bigger deal than most people realize.
Marriage will determine many outcomes in your life, it will determine your friends and social circle,it will determine your economic fortune,it will determine your emotional health, and it will definitely determine if you will end up a bitter woman or a happy woman. A good marriage is heavenly and a bad marriage is like being in the horrors of hell,what I don't get is you trying to force through a relationship you know will not work, if you can see danger ahead,why force your way into it! I liken this kind of mentality to that of mini bus drivers in Lagos, they do available space driving, people called then danfo drivers, danfo means someone who is not bothered by much and they only operate by one philosophy "as long as there is space"!
A danfo driver never bothers to look or think ahead,he gets out of a jam by just driving into any available space and even doing damages to other cars and he believes he's smarter than everyone else, I have often wondered why some ladies apply the danfo driver mentality to their relationships, they see trouble ahead but doggedly pursue the relationship into marriage," when we get there,we'll manage whatever problems arise" is their major word, Danfo girlfriend?!
Why fight to marry a man who's disdainful of you,someone who goes after your friends and colleagues? Why walk into a life-transforming unhappiness. You're complaining he dumped you, shouldn't you be thanking God?!!!!!!!
Be happy and calm and let love find you.
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