if you lose your life to
this marriage you
will have yourself to blame. Truth is not always
politically correct. Neither is wisdom. If I were you I'll repudiate the advice of those religious folk who
insist you should stay in this violent marriage and
pray. These people are legalists who do not believe in
divorce under any circumstance. Until THEIR child is
in danger. Then you'll see them find a loophole in
their doctrinal ideology through which they pull their
daughter out of danger. They cannot abide by their
own legalism once their ward is involved. You're in
a very dangerous marriage. You married an abusive
man. Get OUT before you lose your life! Don't
make yourself a religious experiment of the efficacy
of prayers to change a violent husband. Once a man
has crossed the line of violence once, he's
susceptible to crossing it over and over again. I don't care if he's jazzed or under the
influence of a witch or voodoo. Those are academic
questions. Safety first, then theological disputations
and interpretations later.
Of what value is your marital theological correctness
if you lose your life? You'll be analysing doctrine in
heaven! This man doused you with petrol and was
desperately looking for a lighter to set you on fire and
you're talking theology. You escaped death by
whiskers and some people are telling you to stay and
pray. Would they make THEIR own child stay? Prayer
can change anything I agree. But you're not the
Redeemer. And anyway you can pray from safety. Get
out of this horrible marriage. You may not be lucky
with that petrol a second time around. It might be in
the night. And if your pastor thinks it's rebellion for
you to refuse to stay in a violently abusive marriage
despite his order, so be it. And to think you were
pregnant! You had to jump an entire floor through the
balcony just to escape. You cheated death twice! Your
blood be on the head of those who admonish you to
stay in such a horrible marriage if you lose your life.
There are too many cases of women losing their lives
to violent husbands. Do you want to be the next
statistic?
Yes, you have no job and you don't know how you'll survive economically if you leave but you'll
figure all that out later. And it follows a pattern. First
the man tells you to resign from your good job so you
ostensibly take care of the kids. Then he promises to
take care of all your needs. And it feels the man loves
you so much you don't need to work. But if he's so liquid, why doesn't he hire you a nanny so
you can take care of the kids and remain employed?
When he's made you totally dependent on him then
he begins to deny you means. You now have to beg
for every penny. You're at his mercy. The pattern
is common. And I'm surprised your family hasn't stepped into this situation. You mean they'll
just keep spectating until they lose their daughter!
Someone should come and remove you. The sentence
of death by hanging can't compensate for the loss
of your life if this man kills you. And that same child
you're so worried about preventing you from
leaving? Well, you're going to leave him behind in
death. There are some things nobody needs to tell you
before you move out of a marriage. If your husband is
sleeping with a knife under his pillow as a defence
measure against you, should you stay?! What if he has
a nightmare one day or has a dream in which he
thinks he's slicing bread but it's your throat!
The thing about abuse is that the physical abuse is
nothing compared to the psychological degradation.
Even if you survive the physical abuse, trauma and
fear would have been imprinted into your psyche. If
the very thought of your husband sends you into panic
attack something is terribly wrong in your marriage.
And how do people insist on using scriptures to
compel a woman to stay in an abusive marriage?! The
man himself has repudiated the duty of care specified
in the holy writ. How can he then claim a right under
same? I can't imagine Jesus asking a woman to
stay in a life threatening marriage in the name of
legalism. And a lot of what people do is misinterpret
scriptures and take it out of context to suit their
ideology. In a sane society, you would have gotten a
restraining order against this man. He should not
come near your 3km radius. Go back to your father's house, or to the house of an uncle or any relative.
Just run for your life. The notion of violence in
marriage contradicts the very concept of marriage.
How can a marriage threaten a life? If you don't
want to be a newspaper headline, run before this man
kills you. There's something so final about death
that makes us impotent. With the finality of death all
revisions of history are rendered mute. Just wishful
thinking. When the deed is done and you've lost
your life, those same folks who insist you stay will
conduct your funeral. When this man has killed you
your son will end up an orphan. The state will kill him
too. Then what happens to the child? If you want him
to have any chance at parentage run from this violent
man.
You have to take responsibility for your life. Stop
hoping for instruction from folks to leave the marriage.
You're the one going through the battering. None
of those religious advisers are. Your situation is
academic to them. And how is it that a single young
man who knows nothing about life or marriage is
pontificating on wrongness of divorce? These
contemnors of yours know nothing about marital
trauma yet they're authorities on marriage and
divorce. How does marriage become bondage? How
can marriage be life imprisonment? How can marriage
be a death row or mental asylum?! Marriage is meant
to be loving and supportive. Marriage is meant to be
full of kindness and consideration. The very notion of
marriage as a horror chamber is something you must
vehemently reject. But like I said it’s your life. But
my conscience is clear. Leave this violent and
unstable man. The economy is bad right now and
soon someone's going to tell him you're the
witch affecting his business. Let your memory serve
you well. Remember the women who lost their lives to
violent marriages. Run from an abusive marriage.
will have yourself to blame. Truth is not always
politically correct. Neither is wisdom. If I were you I'll repudiate the advice of those religious folk who
insist you should stay in this violent marriage and
pray. These people are legalists who do not believe in
divorce under any circumstance. Until THEIR child is
in danger. Then you'll see them find a loophole in
their doctrinal ideology through which they pull their
daughter out of danger. They cannot abide by their
own legalism once their ward is involved. You're in
a very dangerous marriage. You married an abusive
man. Get OUT before you lose your life! Don't
make yourself a religious experiment of the efficacy
of prayers to change a violent husband. Once a man
has crossed the line of violence once, he's
susceptible to crossing it over and over again. I don't care if he's jazzed or under the
influence of a witch or voodoo. Those are academic
questions. Safety first, then theological disputations
and interpretations later.
Of what value is your marital theological correctness
if you lose your life? You'll be analysing doctrine in
heaven! This man doused you with petrol and was
desperately looking for a lighter to set you on fire and
you're talking theology. You escaped death by
whiskers and some people are telling you to stay and
pray. Would they make THEIR own child stay? Prayer
can change anything I agree. But you're not the
Redeemer. And anyway you can pray from safety. Get
out of this horrible marriage. You may not be lucky
with that petrol a second time around. It might be in
the night. And if your pastor thinks it's rebellion for
you to refuse to stay in a violently abusive marriage
despite his order, so be it. And to think you were
pregnant! You had to jump an entire floor through the
balcony just to escape. You cheated death twice! Your
blood be on the head of those who admonish you to
stay in such a horrible marriage if you lose your life.
There are too many cases of women losing their lives
to violent husbands. Do you want to be the next
statistic?
Yes, you have no job and you don't know how you'll survive economically if you leave but you'll
figure all that out later. And it follows a pattern. First
the man tells you to resign from your good job so you
ostensibly take care of the kids. Then he promises to
take care of all your needs. And it feels the man loves
you so much you don't need to work. But if he's so liquid, why doesn't he hire you a nanny so
you can take care of the kids and remain employed?
When he's made you totally dependent on him then
he begins to deny you means. You now have to beg
for every penny. You're at his mercy. The pattern
is common. And I'm surprised your family hasn't stepped into this situation. You mean they'll
just keep spectating until they lose their daughter!
Someone should come and remove you. The sentence
of death by hanging can't compensate for the loss
of your life if this man kills you. And that same child
you're so worried about preventing you from
leaving? Well, you're going to leave him behind in
death. There are some things nobody needs to tell you
before you move out of a marriage. If your husband is
sleeping with a knife under his pillow as a defence
measure against you, should you stay?! What if he has
a nightmare one day or has a dream in which he
thinks he's slicing bread but it's your throat!
The thing about abuse is that the physical abuse is
nothing compared to the psychological degradation.
Even if you survive the physical abuse, trauma and
fear would have been imprinted into your psyche. If
the very thought of your husband sends you into panic
attack something is terribly wrong in your marriage.
And how do people insist on using scriptures to
compel a woman to stay in an abusive marriage?! The
man himself has repudiated the duty of care specified
in the holy writ. How can he then claim a right under
same? I can't imagine Jesus asking a woman to
stay in a life threatening marriage in the name of
legalism. And a lot of what people do is misinterpret
scriptures and take it out of context to suit their
ideology. In a sane society, you would have gotten a
restraining order against this man. He should not
come near your 3km radius. Go back to your father's house, or to the house of an uncle or any relative.
Just run for your life. The notion of violence in
marriage contradicts the very concept of marriage.
How can a marriage threaten a life? If you don't
want to be a newspaper headline, run before this man
kills you. There's something so final about death
that makes us impotent. With the finality of death all
revisions of history are rendered mute. Just wishful
thinking. When the deed is done and you've lost
your life, those same folks who insist you stay will
conduct your funeral. When this man has killed you
your son will end up an orphan. The state will kill him
too. Then what happens to the child? If you want him
to have any chance at parentage run from this violent
man.
You have to take responsibility for your life. Stop
hoping for instruction from folks to leave the marriage.
You're the one going through the battering. None
of those religious advisers are. Your situation is
academic to them. And how is it that a single young
man who knows nothing about life or marriage is
pontificating on wrongness of divorce? These
contemnors of yours know nothing about marital
trauma yet they're authorities on marriage and
divorce. How does marriage become bondage? How
can marriage be life imprisonment? How can marriage
be a death row or mental asylum?! Marriage is meant
to be loving and supportive. Marriage is meant to be
full of kindness and consideration. The very notion of
marriage as a horror chamber is something you must
vehemently reject. But like I said it’s your life. But
my conscience is clear. Leave this violent and
unstable man. The economy is bad right now and
soon someone's going to tell him you're the
witch affecting his business. Let your memory serve
you well. Remember the women who lost their lives to
violent marriages. Run from an abusive marriage.
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