BE THE BEST MAN YOU CAN BE

My dear Jack, let me teach you two laws to be cognizant of in this
relationship. The two laws seem obvious, sound almost stupid. Yet
they’re so potent and powerful. Sometimes, laws and principles seem so
obvious. Take gravity for example. It seems so obvious. And yet that
law determines a whole lot of things. You couldn’t fly without taking
cognizance of gravity. The things that are obvious in life are
sometimes so consequential, sometimes so potent. I came upon these two
laws of relationship as I meditated on my bed very early one morning
and I thought to share with you.

As a man, your emotional pool is pretty shallow. Women have a deeper
emotional pool. That lack of emotional depth manifests in men not
crying over many things, being rational, not being emotional. And
society conditions men not to express emotions, not to cry. Men don’t
cry is a rite of passage mantra. These invariably play out in a
relationship. And so you can’t understand a woman’s emotions, not
without effort. Think of it like a swimming pool. She’s at the deep
end of the pool, you’re at the shallow end. Even though both of you
are in the pool, yet your experiences and fears differ. At your
shallow end, there’s not much threat you’re facing. But at her deep
end, the potential for catastrophe is greater. She can be drowned in
the pool of emotions because she’s at the deep end. You’re not.

And so what she guards against will be more significant than what you
do. To the woman, the man will come across as insensitive. That’s
because he’s a native of the shallow end of the emotional pool. And to
the man, the woman will come across as too emotional because she’s at
the deep end of the emotional pool. These emotional perspectives have
to be managed in a relationship. It means as a man, there are some
things you won’t “get”, not unless you make a try. And the woman won’t
get why you seem so “cold” and rational because she dwells at the deep
end of emotional pool. Thus women tend to be more empathetic because
of their emotional habitat.

In a sense, the difference in perspective is not the fault of either
sexes, but the burden is on you as a man. The Peterist principle is
that you should relate to your wife/girlfriend from a knowledge
perspective. If you don’t understand her emotional range, you’re going
to run into trouble in your relationship. You’ll come across as
unfeeling if you don’t try and understand where she’s coming from
emotionally. There’s thus a sensitivity issue men naturally have in a
relationship because of their makeup. The two laws I’m talking about
will help you process her emotionalism RATIONALLY, so you have less
trouble.

Here’s the first law of emotional range: Whatever makes her happy she
takes seriously. Yeah, I know that sounds stupid but like we said,
stupid sounding principles are very potent stuff. Let me elaborate and
give you understanding of this “stupid” principle. If she spends hours
on end putting together what she’ll wear during the week, it means
fashion means a lot to her. And so she’ll spend many hours in her
closet matching shoes, bags and accessories with apparel. Her plan for
the week. Not all women are like this. But there are those these
things mean a lot to. There’s so much detailing and particularization,
and so much effort and intelligence involved. There’s consideration of
shades of colour. That’s how you get to know there are 256 shades of
red. Even the emotional quality of leath